That’s Just Life

I have so many feelings 
and so many changing expressions inside 
in the face of my soul 
every second 
as I feel all these feelings. 

And there is no way that I can write about all of them not even most of them not even some of them so some of this most of this all of this is going to be lost. 

I’m shooting my feelings into the universe like a hundred million sperm cells and if I’m lucky, one will stick and go on to make a baby. But millions upon millions upon millions of sperm cells have shot into me over my reproductive career and only one has ever stuck and only for a few weeks and it was never going to turn into a baby so so so with all my feelings is it fair to mourn the loss or the waste of them if none of them bear fruit in a single night in a single outburst of emotion when I on my part haven’t borne fruit from what has landed inside me for seven fucking years

It is as my father says

(His favourite thing to say when
Someone gets raw
And reveals
Their pain)

“That’s just life”